Top Muscle Magazine

Nobody's perfect. And neither is a magazine. But the bodybuilding industry has its fair share of magazines with crap content. Utter crap. So what do Fortress and his anonymous interviewee feel are the top-five faults of these publications? Find out! This is a no-miss rundown for newbies. Take it away, fellas...

#5 - Delusional New Publishers

Tough Guy: Every year perhaps five magazines - and web sites - are launched with lots of fanfare at the Arnold Fitness Expo or elsewhere. These mags last usually about two or three months and seemingly have the sole purpose of plugging a product line and this is probably why they don't last. The truth is, there hasn't been a new independent mag the last several years that has been successful. Most have far too little stand-alone content.

Robert "Fortress" Fortney: That's it right there. Supplement companies dominate bodybuilding right now and many put together magazines not realizing they have no staff of writers and editors to flesh out the mags with content. All they have is marketers. I mean, who wants to buy a magazine that's nothing but ads?

TG: Absolutely. Of course, supplement companies were always a part of the picture, but it wasn't so blatant in the past. Marketers are now the writers. The product is no longer the magazine itself. Rather, it's bottles of pills or protein powders. Enough said. What's next, Fortress?

#4 - No Talent (Writers)

RF: A lot of ghostwriters seem to be popping up in the mags. We are to believe that the athlete being featured wrote the piece. You and I know damn well that most bodybuilders can't string a sentence together.

TG: Let's not sugarcoat it - many can't speak in complete sentences! These articles read like a thesaurus. People actually believe these pros write the stuff! Web e-zines usually don't even have any educated writers on staff; they're usually "gurus". A lot of them don't even have much training experience, either.

RF: I think a lot of folks believe professional bodybuilders all know what they're talking about. Fact is, most pros get to the top, nowadays, because of drugs, genetics and half-assed training sessions. I've seen a lot of big names train and many would be surprised at how pathetic some of their workouts are. When you take enough drugs and have great genetics you can make so many training and nutritional mistakes. Look at Paul Dillett!

TG: No thanks. There's a proliferation of bullshit. It's just not good.

RF: (laughs)

TG: And all this further perpetuates the notion that the marketers in the industry aren't real businessmen, the writers aren't real writers. Sometimes the athletes aren't even real athletes! Not in the true sense.

#3 - Too Much Porn

RF: There's far too much sex and porn-like pictures. I don't think any parent would want their children to see this stuff. But you know lots of young people view this material. Two or three of the big magazines feature endless "pictorials" and sex advice columns. And they're very graphic.

TG: A disturbing trend lately is having every issue a collector's issue featuring some porn-like photo section. The publishers beat the hell out of this marketing ploy.

RF: My favorite: Sexiest Boobs - or something like that.

TG: That's nice. One of the mags features quite graphic illustrations. In fact, very graphic! We're talking pics of guys with huge dongs hanging out and sexual intercourse. It makes little difference that this is illustrated.

RF: It's been said many times, but when you buy a bodybuilding magazine, you should be getting what you pay for. Buy a porn mag if you want porn. And if you aren't old enough to buy porn - well, that's the point. Kids shouldn't be seeing thong-wearing women with their asses in the air and reading advice on how to do them in the ass. It's not the Penthouse forum, to say the least.

TG: And we're not condemning all nudity. Let's face it. A lot of men look at pornography. But this kind of stuff dilutes bodybuilding. Hopefully men pick up a bodybuilding mag to get into a certain mindset. Getting an erection isn't part of that mindset.